It’s been an interesting month around our house, with the events surrounding the loss of our baby. For the past couple of weeks we’ve been awaiting autopsy results to try and determine what happened. We finally received those results last week, but they didn’t give us very much information.
The baby was a boy, and we named him Samuel Shane. On Tuesday we buried him at the LittellCemetery, east of Pleasanton. Andrew and I dug his grave the day before. At one point Andrew mentioned he was tired and I suggested he take a break. He said that if I would take a break he would too. I told him that I didn’t mind if he took a break, and I would keep working. He said, “Dad, if you don’t take a break, then I’m not taking a break—because I’m not letting you do this job by yourself.” I was amazed because at that point he didn’t sound like my son….he sounded more like a good friend. We took a break.
The night we buried Sam, we all wrote letters to him that we put in the grave, then we sang a couple of songs and read some Scripture verses and I closed us in prayer. Before we left the house Savannah told me she wanted to take some of her money and put it in the grave too. I asked her, “Why do you want to do that?” She said, “Because he’s my little brother and I love him.” So we put 54 cents in the grave that came out of Savannah’s piggy bank. Then right before we covered the casket Karissa took the pacifier out of her mouth and threw it in the grave. I went ahead and buried it with Sam as well figuring that could be Karissa’s contribution to the service.
All in all, I think we’re all doing fairly well. The doctor does want to do some tests on Erin to make sure she doesn’t have Lupus. It’s extremely rare to lose two babies in the second trimester (for those who don’t know, we also lost a baby at 13 weeks in September of 2005)…and the doctor said sometimes it can be caused by Lupus, or something similar to it. But she told us there would only be a 10% chance Erin had it.
When it’s all said and done, we may never know every reason for why things happen the way they do. But we rest in the knowledge that we now have 2 children who will be awaiting us when we get to Heaven; and though we don’t get to spend the temporal years knowing them, we WILL get to spend eternity with them, which is a far greater gift. God is still in control and we don’t harbor one ounce of bitterness towards Him for these events. Trials are simply apart of living in a fallen world. Some face trials less than this one, and many people face trials worse than this one; but trials come to everyone including us.
In closing, I would like to thank everyone who has ministered to us in anyway during this time. Cards, meals, words of encouragement, and prayers have been greatly appreciated and we are thankful for them. May God bless you all.